It's 4 hours long and prior to watching it, I may have inhaled some particularly potent herbs. I found a documentary on Amazon Prime called 'Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: Runnin' Down a Dream'. Most recently, the band that did this for me was Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Good music feels like a free ride away from this planet. Wearing a mask for the last year has given me a much needed break from this.
People always ask what's wrong when nothing is wrong. I figure that that's better than people reacting to my face and thinking I don't care about my patients, anyway =/ It's probably oversharing to an extent, and I'm honestly not sure if it's the best way to proceed.but, at least if I'm feeling comfortable, I tend to tell coworkers about it (not details about why I have PTSD, just that I do and that it can give me a blank affect). I work in the medical field, and I've had several people berate me for it, as apparently it makes me look like I "don't know what I'm doing," or even that I "don't give a shit about my patients." Then again, I've also had plenty of people compliment me on how "calm and reassuring" I can seem in a crisis (when I'm definitely not, my face just ends up looking that way!).
My husband calls it my "panic face," heh. It tends to come on when I'm especially anxious. When my wife noticed it really upset her because I'm creepy good at it, but she knows me to be maniacally ethical and now that she's noticed how I've been treated before she understands.Īlthough I'm not diagnosed with ASD (my son is, and I have wondered about myself off and on), I do have PTSD and definitely have a flat affect at times. It's easier to mask all the way like I'm not even me than it is to modify myself, idk how else to explain it, it's not that I'm telling big lies or even benefitting from them at all, but I am telling tiny inconsequential and impossible to verify ones almost all the time because then my mannerisms become what I imagine they would be like instead of trying to imagine how I'm supposed to feel when I know for a fact I actually don't feel anything at all.
It's because they weren't filling in your blank emotional cues with their own bullshit, customers are business relationships where they need whatever you are selling or providing, when people have an option or discretion then they punish us, bosses move into a personal level of rapport so it's open season.īest trick I have found is to lie almost compulsively.
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